Here is a metal mix I made in 2009. Not much to say about this, other than I think it rocks (obviously), so here is the tracklisting! :

Fear Factory – Resurrection
American Head Charge – Just So You Know
Killswitch Engage – My Last Serenade
Slipknot – (SIC)
Nine Inch Nails – We’re In This Together Now
White Zombie – Electric Head Pt 1
Strapping Young Lad – Home Nucleonics
Eluveitie – Bloodstained Ground
Satyricon – K.I.N.G.
Opeth – The Lotus Eater
Tool – Third Eye
Carcass – Inpropagation
Kreator – War Curse
Slayer – War Ensemble
Tankard – The Horde
Lamb Of God – Requiem
Pantera – The Great Southern Trend Kill

Enjoy

I’ve always been a big fan of Devin Townsend’s work, and Storm (From the album Accelerated Evolution) is no exception. Covering a Devy track is no easy job, there is absolutly no point in doing a straight cover, as the original is as near to perfect as it will ever be. No, so I wanted to pay tribute by looking at this song from a slightly different angle. There is a certain irony to an acoustic and gentle cover of storm which is not lost on me. But I really found the lyrics to this particular song quite relevant to my own personal life situations right now. So here is version 1 of this cover. This particular recording is meant as a sketch, for me to later re-visit and develop some more. As it stands right now, its just two guitars, one is finger picking harmonics on the 12th fret (which I used for keeping time), and the other is finger picking the song chords.
I actually cheated with the guitars, as I didnt know how many times it needed to go round. So i recorded them once, edited, and looped. Heheh! The vocals were done ultra falestto because my parents were asleep, so I couldnt do them properly without waking them up. Whilst they are a bit flat in places (falsetto isnt my forté), there is a certain fragility to them which I do like. Perhaps when I have another go at paying tribute to this song, I’ll get them down better. As it stands now, there is 4 vocal tracks. 2 of each octave hard panned to each side.

Anyway… have a listen to this, then go listen to the Devin Townsend Band version, and see how it is MEANT to be done!

Peace!

A very early sketch for something which i already know is going to change drastically in the next version. No equipment at this time to record it again, or indeed a guitar.

This song is called “I Can’t” for so many reasons, apart from the fact that I can’t finish it right now! I do like the chorus type bit though. It’s not like me to write a chorus bit these days, never mind liking it!

First draft of lyrics (subject to drastic change perhaps)

Am I deluded? (How can anyone know?)

This is a question almost everybody, if not everybody asks themselves at one time or another. It’s just life! Somethings just dont make sense.How can we cope in these situations? It’s impossible not to make mistakes as you go on your way.
And about regrets : how can we regret something we obviously meant at the time. Yet we still have regrets. How is that supposed to make sense? Cause and effect. Consequence. Why are these things sometimes not so important, yet at other times they are?
Don’t ask me, I’m just as useless at solving this shit as everyone else wants me NOT to be…
I just write my shit down and smash it into music. Like a square peg into a round hole, with a hammer.
It will all make sense eventually…

I – I can see clearer when I close my eyes.
Now nobody’s near me, then there’s no suprises.
I – I am away now, yet still someone cries.
I should see clearer, but it’s so hard to try.

Because I can’t…
Because I can’t…

I – I could see clearer when I closed my eyes
BUT I CANT CLOSE MY EYES!
Now nobody’s near me, then there’s no disguises.
I – I am away now, yet still someone cries…
I CRY!
I can’t admit it, but it’s so hard to deny…

Because I can’t…
Because I can’t…

So what have we learnt today?
Hopefully a combination of nothing and everything.
That might make no sense, or perfect sense, depending on your progress…
So will that…
Anyway, how can we adequetly describe what we are feeling when most of our words were built for describing physical actions, or objects?
It would be awesome if we could record our thoughts as they happened, so we could listen back to them later and have a damn good laugh. And we’d learn! But we can’t, so we are all on our own to figure it all out…

Previous Version(s) :

[See post to listen to audio]

Version 1 – Main guitars and “I Can’t” chorus only.
Version 2 – Added more guitars and first draft of lyrics.

This track I’m really happy with. It is just a stones throw from 18 minutes long, and I have an idea yet to add to it (which will be quite difficult to add because this track was not recorded to a click beat due to the irregular time signature). So far there is no lyrics written, but I plan to do this in the future. About the title, I asked on a forum for someone to come up with a name for the song, and my friend jef came up with this suggestion which I immediatly loved (cheers Zel!).

Update : Lyrics written!

Why don’t we ever know what lies ahead, awaiting?
Why can’t we ever do what we need to do to avoid it?
These are the questions we ask ourselves in hindsight…
These are the answers we seek to know… were we right?

Why is it we are judged by our decisions?
Surely we should be judged by our regrets!
How can we not respond to our feelings?
At quarter to guilt, we all know how we felt…

Bad, Mad, Sad…
Or were we glad?

It’s all about me, in my chemistry, can’t you see?
Didn’t know what to do, I couldn’t see it through…
And now it’s done, so many things went wrong…
And I still don’t know what to do, I still can’t think it through…

Cos I feel bad, mad, sad…
You feel bad, mad, sad…

Previous Version :

[See post to listen to audio]

Version 1 – Guitars only
Version 2 – Vocals added
Version 2.1 – Slightly more pleasant mix, nothing new added.
Future versions requires keyboards, ,more lyrics, vocal harmonies and general awesomeness…

Ive done a lot of music over the years, some with other people, and some i wrote on my own. Some of the tracks I wrote alone I am really proud of for their musical merits, however, a few I wrote were purely either to get something out of my system, or to aknowledge something important to me at the time.

On this page I will post these songs which had my whole heart and mind in the lyrics at the time i wrote them. Some of these songs I like, but some of them I really cannot listen to anymore. This is either because they suck, or otherwise I have come to terms with the subject matter since then.

As for the subject matter, I never write specifics into the songs, or at least anything that can be identified to anyone or anything. Even more so recently my heartfelt songs don’t have (usually) more than 4 line lines of lyrics. After all, who am I to tell you what to hear when you listen to music?

Also, I noticed that after something has been written and demo’d for the first time, and its the most honest and true thing I can put on tape, trying to re-record or re-create it in a more polished recording makes it sound less emotional. You will see this in a couple of re-recordings of some songs I have put here.

I guess it’s best to start at the beginning. the older songs are way more basic due to the lack of experience i had (have?) in making the tracks. One song which should fit into this catagory of headfucks I am not including due to the fact that it is too heavy for this playlist. That song is is “You make me hate you so much” and can be found on this site already. Another song I did to get some emotions out was actually a cover of “Forever Autumn” and since I didnt write it, it isn’t on this page either…

Of all these tracks on this page, I only really like the music of 3 of them, but the lyrics of all of them mean something to me…

My one request is that you read the lyrics first before allowing the music to spoil it all.
Cheers…

Here is the tracklist to my previous insanities:

Good things are meant to last a while (2 versions)
Forget
Memory Trap
Farewell
Before the Afterthought (2 versions)
Nothing
Again

Good things are meant to last a while.

I wake to see the world’s beauty
get distracted just about by everything
find it hard to find beauty in anything
need to find something to make me want to sing
yeah, again…

And then I find some peace of mind
in you, you made me happy and you made me smile
and didnt seem to mind that I was getting high
it seems good things are meant to last only a while
it seems to me, again…

Forget

A shoulder here for a gentle cry
to tame the heart of anything that reminds you of that time
and age is poised to pass you by
an age of painful memories that make the tears well in your eyes.

Your troubles get to wear too thin
must brave a step through struggling
face teh whip and sadistic grin
of feelings rubbed raw deep within…

Forget…

Memory trap

Follow me down this path
it ain’t so long and it’s just a laugh
for you and me
watch your step, mind your way
overgrown echos of nature in this place
oooh!

This is just fo you and me
this is just a memory

I made you smile, I’m glad you came
sitting here, hand in hand – what a beautiful day!
we’ll carve our names in a tree
leave our mark for all eternity
for all to see…

This is just for you and me
and maybe also the tree
but in all reality
this is just a memory…
Oh…
It’s just a memory…

Farewell

I cannot remember if it’s ever better
how can I forget her? it just stays forever
thinking of you
I’ve even tried to move on but it just feels so wrong
gotta write you one song – do what it takes to move on
up and away from you

because i love you.

I try to hide my feelings from those human beings
they don’t like my reasons, especially not these ones
oh no!
I’ve gotta go away now, gotta put the phone down
thinking brings me right down, I only need to hear the sound of your voice
Just you…

because I love you…

Before the Afterthought

Reach me….
take a look through me and tell me what do you see?

Reach you….
seeing what you want me to see through
because that is you…

Nothing

It’s been a long time since I felt something
it’s not your fault, no, and it never was, not you
I blame myself for all those things I cannot do
these things that cripple me and you
it’s been a long time since I, since I, since I felt something…

Again

I try to find my way again
but I have to be my own friend
I can’t even understand
why I don’t know who I am
Again…

Fin?

Here is a work in progress mix done using Mixmeister and some MP3s.

Chasing Shadows – ILL (Original Mix)
Pendulum – Showdown (Excision Remix)
Stagga – Face Gets Splat
Ultrablack – The Naughty One
The Prodigy – Take Me To The Hospital (Rusko Remix)
Rusko – Woo Boost
Rob Sparx – Sour Grapes
DZ – Bless Up
Reso – If Ya Can’t Beat Em (Original Mix)
Rob Sparx – Attack Of The Wobble (Original Mix)
16 Bit – Can You Show Me What Head Is
Bjork – Dull Flame Of Desire (Modeselektor’s Remix For Boys)
Datsik – Nuke ‘Em
Sukh Knight – Diesel Not Petrol
Trolley Snatcha – The Future
Fissure Price – King Koopah
Orbatek – Machete
Nero – This way
Cadenza – Punks
Excision – Calypso Ft. Datsik

This is just a sketch of an idea which will eventually be a massive sounding song. I want to make it longer if i re-record it, and make it build and build, re-arranging the theme which I’ve written here. As with my last couple of tracks, this is written in open C tuning, which I’m finding real fun to play with. I like how this one is going.

Older Versions

[See post to listen to audio]

Version 1 – Guitars and Percussion only.

Version 2 – Added Keyboards and Vocals

Version 3 – Added Lead Guitar

This not a serious track, I just wanted to mess around with drummer from hell, to see how it works. This song was recorded in open C tuning. I don’t care if you think it’s shit, because I already know it is. I just cant mix distorted guitars, at all!

Here is a new track I been working on recently, Its still in its embryonic stage. It was written and recorded on acoustic guitar in open C tuning (thanks Devin Townsend for the inspiration!). I got nothing to say about the lyrics, they say it all…

Older versions

[See post to listen to audio]

Version 1 – Guitars and Vocals only.

Version 2 – Added Keyboards and extra Guitars.

Version 3 – Added some Percussion.

This is just an ambient piece. I can imagine that one day I will work on this more. The track title is a small nod towards August Ferdinand Möbius (and i guess also Johann Benedict Listing), creator(s) of the half-twist circle aka “The Möbius Strip”. August Ferdinand Möbius was also a character from Brian Lumley’s “Necroscope” books, and to cut a long story short, there was a place (or un-place) called the Möbius Continuüm which featured as a major plot line in the books.

This track is something I didn’t really get into when making it. It stands unfinished, and pretty crap. Sorry!

This track takes it’s title just from the fact that the music sounds a bit dirty and grim. This is a fairly early track I made, but I kinda like it. I dont really have much to say about my state of mind when I made this, I guess I was just experimenting.

The track title of this song was inspired by living in a flat which had absolutly no heating available. I was freeeeezing in my flat whilst making this track, and I really could see my own breath. The song kind of sounds cold and desolate too. It fits, I think!

The song title for this track is inspired by the toothache I had during the making of this track. The ambient crowd noise was randomly recorded in my old flat when i had a lot of people around chilling and socialising. I really like this song.

Another title which was inspired by living in a noisy house! The music itself though is quite chilled. I like this track. It kinda reminds me of Shpongle in a way, although it was accidental. Check it out!

A randomly made track. It doesn’t mean anything, and lacked any inspiration other than the need to record something and pass the time. I like it though. The vocals are just silly.

[See post to listen to audio]

This is a very rough sketch of an acoustic version of Megadeth’s song Addicted To Chaos. I like it though. It’s a shame that I didnt spend more time on this making it sound good. Ah well… Enjoy!

This is rubbish. It’s a very short protracker mod, that I did to pass the time, I guess. It gets it’s name from the fact that it sounds very madcap and kinda Arabic. Please forgive me if you are Arabic and you disagree, or you own a fairground.

I was very lazy programming this in one way… The drum beat never changes! I did however put in a bass guitar, which I never did on any other tracks made with protracker. I think this was the last ever protracker mod that I made. The title I Melt is inspired by LSD experiences (that I read about, obviously!). Enjoy!

I have no idea what exactly sylphic seduction is, what it does, or why it does it. Its another Cradle of Filth inspired track name. Sorry about that! This is another protracker mod from when I was a teenager.

Back when I used to do protracker mods on the Amiga 600, I used to try and make really sinister tracks (which is kinda funny since the sample quality was so damn awful back then!) and this one, (which lends the title from lyrics by Cradle of Filth) is one of these tracks. I think a lot of my old protracker mods lend a lot from Cradle of Filth, and also perhaps a bit of Bach (in a really simple way). Have a laugh! Enjoy!!!

I know its a generic title to this post, but I cant really give any specific information about the tracks used in these mixes. I simply just cannot remember! All I can say is that these are some live mixes I did a while ago using the program DSSDJ and a few random psytrance mp3s. Listen to it, or not, its up to you. I just added this stuff so I have more content on my site! Hehehe!

This was one of the first few tracks I made with Sony Acid using loops. The inspiration for the title comes from my neighbour at the time, Robbie (RiUvEn, Rhubarb). Before he was doing the projects he is doing now, he was the drummer in a band called Mexico (actually an awesome band, which unfortunatly split up) and the rehearsals were originally made in the room above mine (usually when I was sleeping). Robbie was also pretty famous for painting aliens everywhere, on his walls, on his playstation… Everywhere! So thusly, when I made this track and gave it this title, it was during this period of noisemaking, and i was referring to Robbie in a humerous way. This is a pretty strange song, I can imagine a conveyor belt with aliens on it heading towards a huge big squishing machine. Maybe you will hear what i mean in the song. Enjoy!

This is another track I worked on with Robbie Morris, who is Rhubarb as well as RiUvEn. Robbie did a lot of cutting of samples using Audacity, making the cool scratch effects and also he did the vocals. I did the music bits with Sony Acid. This was another session made because of having no internet in the house we lived in! I like this one. Check it!

Doing vocals in Pete’s flat

Doing vocals in Pete’s flat

What can we sing? I don’t know…

What can I sing now? I don’t know…

Giz a toke on the spliff!

On the spliff!

Thankyou Pete!

Thankyou Pete!

Ahh ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ahh ha ha ha ha!

This mix is my personal fave I think. I wanted to do a mix with Spongle’s Divine moments of truth on it, and that kinda shaped what the other tracks would be. I can’t remember the complete tracklist though, but I know it contains Erik Satie remix, Shpongle, Fly Agaric, Bamboo Forest, Underworld, some music from the Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Crying Freeman OST’s, samples from The Matrix, Fifth Element, The Shining plus more. Anyway, enjoy!