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Ive done a lot of music over the years, some with other people, and some i wrote on my own. Some of the tracks I wrote alone I am really proud of for their musical merits, however, a few I wrote were purely either to get something out of my system, or to aknowledge something important to me at the time.
On this page I will post these songs which had my whole heart and mind in the lyrics at the time i wrote them. Some of these songs I like, but some of them I really cannot listen to anymore. This is either because they suck, or otherwise I have come to terms with the subject matter since then.
As for the subject matter, I never write specifics into the songs, or at least anything that can be identified to anyone or anything. Even more so recently my heartfelt songs don’t have (usually) more than 4 line lines of lyrics. After all, who am I to tell you what to hear when you listen to music?
Also, I noticed that after something has been written and demo’d for the first time, and its the most honest and true thing I can put on tape, trying to re-record or re-create it in a more polished recording makes it sound less emotional. You will see this in a couple of re-recordings of some songs I have put here.
I guess it’s best to start at the beginning. the older songs are way more basic due to the lack of experience i had (have?) in making the tracks. One song which should fit into this catagory of headfucks I am not including due to the fact that it is too heavy for this playlist. That song is is “You make me hate you so much” and can be found on this site already. Another song I did to get some emotions out was actually a cover of “Forever Autumn” and since I didnt write it, it isn’t on this page either…
Of all these tracks on this page, I only really like the music of 3 of them, but the lyrics of all of them mean something to me…
My one request is that you read the lyrics first before allowing the music to spoil it all.
Cheers…
Here is the tracklist to my previous insanities:
Good things are meant to last a while (2 versions)
Forget
Memory Trap
Farewell
Before the Afterthought (2 versions)
Nothing
Again
Good things are meant to last a while.
I wake to see the world’s beauty
get distracted just about by everything
find it hard to find beauty in anything
need to find something to make me want to sing
yeah, again…
And then I find some peace of mind
in you, you made me happy and you made me smile
and didnt seem to mind that I was getting high
it seems good things are meant to last only a while
it seems to me, again…
Forget
A shoulder here for a gentle cry
to tame the heart of anything that reminds you of that time
and age is poised to pass you by
an age of painful memories that make the tears well in your eyes.
Your troubles get to wear too thin
must brave a step through struggling
face teh whip and sadistic grin
of feelings rubbed raw deep within…
Forget…
Memory trap
Follow me down this path
it ain’t so long and it’s just a laugh
for you and me
watch your step, mind your way
overgrown echos of nature in this place
oooh!
This is just fo you and me
this is just a memory
I made you smile, I’m glad you came
sitting here, hand in hand – what a beautiful day!
we’ll carve our names in a tree
leave our mark for all eternity
for all to see…
This is just for you and me
and maybe also the tree
but in all reality
this is just a memory…
Oh…
It’s just a memory…
Farewell
I cannot remember if it’s ever better
how can I forget her? it just stays forever
thinking of you
I’ve even tried to move on but it just feels so wrong
gotta write you one song – do what it takes to move on
up and away from you
because i love you.
I try to hide my feelings from those human beings
they don’t like my reasons, especially not these ones
oh no!
I’ve gotta go away now, gotta put the phone down
thinking brings me right down, I only need to hear the sound of your voice
Just you…
because I love you…
Before the Afterthought
Reach me….
take a look through me and tell me what do you see?
Reach you….
seeing what you want me to see through
because that is you…
Nothing
It’s been a long time since I felt something
it’s not your fault, no, and it never was, not you
I blame myself for all those things I cannot do
these things that cripple me and you
it’s been a long time since I, since I, since I felt something…
Again
I try to find my way again
but I have to be my own friend
I can’t even understand
why I don’t know who I am
Again…
Fin?
The vocals were done ultra falestto because my parents were asleep, so I couldnt do them properly without waking them up. Whilst they are a bit flat in places (falsetto isnt my forté), there is a certain fragility to them which I do like. Perhaps when I have another go at paying tribute to this song, I’ll get them down better. As it stands now, there is 4 vocal tracks. 2 of each octave hard panned to each side.
thanks for listening 
excellent sounds and pic xx Rock on ! xlove light and laughter x
