I’ve always been a big fan of Devin Townsend’s work, and Storm (From the album Accelerated Evolution) is no exception. Covering a Devy track is no easy job, there is absolutly no point in doing a straight cover, as the original is as near to perfect as it will ever be. No, so I wanted to pay tribute by looking at this song from a slightly different angle. There is a certain irony to an acoustic and gentle cover of storm which is not lost on me. But I really found the lyrics to this particular song quite relevant to my own personal life situations right now. So here is version 1 of this cover. This particular recording is meant as a sketch, for me to later re-visit and develop some more. As it stands right now, its just two guitars, one is finger picking harmonics on the 12th fret (which I used for keeping time), and the other is finger picking the song chords.
I actually cheated with the guitars, as I didnt know how many times it needed to go round. So i recorded them once, edited, and looped. Heheh! The vocals were done ultra falestto because my parents were asleep, so I couldnt do them properly without waking them up. Whilst they are a bit flat in places (falsetto isnt my forté), there is a certain fragility to them which I do like. Perhaps when I have another go at paying tribute to this song, I’ll get them down better. As it stands now, there is 4 vocal tracks. 2 of each octave hard panned to each side.

Anyway… have a listen to this, then go listen to the Devin Townsend Band version, and see how it is MEANT to be done!

Peace!

A very early sketch for something which i already know is going to change drastically in the next version. No equipment at this time to record it again, or indeed a guitar.

This song is called “I Can’t” for so many reasons, apart from the fact that I can’t finish it right now! I do like the chorus type bit though. It’s not like me to write a chorus bit these days, never mind liking it!

First draft of lyrics (subject to drastic change perhaps)

Am I deluded? (How can anyone know?)

This is a question almost everybody, if not everybody asks themselves at one time or another. It’s just life! Somethings just dont make sense.How can we cope in these situations? It’s impossible not to make mistakes as you go on your way.
And about regrets : how can we regret something we obviously meant at the time. Yet we still have regrets. How is that supposed to make sense? Cause and effect. Consequence. Why are these things sometimes not so important, yet at other times they are?
Don’t ask me, I’m just as useless at solving this shit as everyone else wants me NOT to be…
I just write my shit down and smash it into music. Like a square peg into a round hole, with a hammer.
It will all make sense eventually…

I – I can see clearer when I close my eyes.
Now nobody’s near me, then there’s no suprises.
I – I am away now, yet still someone cries.
I should see clearer, but it’s so hard to try.

Because I can’t…
Because I can’t…

I – I could see clearer when I closed my eyes
BUT I CANT CLOSE MY EYES!
Now nobody’s near me, then there’s no disguises.
I – I am away now, yet still someone cries…
I CRY!
I can’t admit it, but it’s so hard to deny…

Because I can’t…
Because I can’t…

So what have we learnt today?
Hopefully a combination of nothing and everything.
That might make no sense, or perfect sense, depending on your progress…
So will that…
Anyway, how can we adequetly describe what we are feeling when most of our words were built for describing physical actions, or objects?
It would be awesome if we could record our thoughts as they happened, so we could listen back to them later and have a damn good laugh. And we’d learn! But we can’t, so we are all on our own to figure it all out…

Previous Version(s) :

[See post to listen to audio]

Version 1 – Main guitars and “I Can’t” chorus only.
Version 2 – Added more guitars and first draft of lyrics.

This track I’m really happy with. It is just a stones throw from 18 minutes long, and I have an idea yet to add to it (which will be quite difficult to add because this track was not recorded to a click beat due to the irregular time signature). So far there is no lyrics written, but I plan to do this in the future. About the title, I asked on a forum for someone to come up with a name for the song, and my friend jef came up with this suggestion which I immediatly loved (cheers Zel!).

Update : Lyrics written!

Why don’t we ever know what lies ahead, awaiting?
Why can’t we ever do what we need to do to avoid it?
These are the questions we ask ourselves in hindsight…
These are the answers we seek to know… were we right?

Why is it we are judged by our decisions?
Surely we should be judged by our regrets!
How can we not respond to our feelings?
At quarter to guilt, we all know how we felt…

Bad, Mad, Sad…
Or were we glad?

It’s all about me, in my chemistry, can’t you see?
Didn’t know what to do, I couldn’t see it through…
And now it’s done, so many things went wrong…
And I still don’t know what to do, I still can’t think it through…

Cos I feel bad, mad, sad…
You feel bad, mad, sad…

Previous Version :

[See post to listen to audio]

Version 1 – Guitars only
Version 2 – Vocals added
Version 2.1 – Slightly more pleasant mix, nothing new added.
Future versions requires keyboards, ,more lyrics, vocal harmonies and general awesomeness…

Ive done a lot of music over the years, some with other people, and some i wrote on my own. Some of the tracks I wrote alone I am really proud of for their musical merits, however, a few I wrote were purely either to get something out of my system, or to aknowledge something important to me at the time.

On this page I will post these songs which had my whole heart and mind in the lyrics at the time i wrote them. Some of these songs I like, but some of them I really cannot listen to anymore. This is either because they suck, or otherwise I have come to terms with the subject matter since then.

As for the subject matter, I never write specifics into the songs, or at least anything that can be identified to anyone or anything. Even more so recently my heartfelt songs don’t have (usually) more than 4 line lines of lyrics. After all, who am I to tell you what to hear when you listen to music?

Also, I noticed that after something has been written and demo’d for the first time, and its the most honest and true thing I can put on tape, trying to re-record or re-create it in a more polished recording makes it sound less emotional. You will see this in a couple of re-recordings of some songs I have put here.

I guess it’s best to start at the beginning. the older songs are way more basic due to the lack of experience i had (have?) in making the tracks. One song which should fit into this catagory of headfucks I am not including due to the fact that it is too heavy for this playlist. That song is is “You make me hate you so much” and can be found on this site already. Another song I did to get some emotions out was actually a cover of “Forever Autumn” and since I didnt write it, it isn’t on this page either…

Of all these tracks on this page, I only really like the music of 3 of them, but the lyrics of all of them mean something to me…

My one request is that you read the lyrics first before allowing the music to spoil it all.
Cheers…

Here is the tracklist to my previous insanities:

Good things are meant to last a while (2 versions)
Forget
Memory Trap
Farewell
Before the Afterthought (2 versions)
Nothing
Again

Good things are meant to last a while.

I wake to see the world’s beauty
get distracted just about by everything
find it hard to find beauty in anything
need to find something to make me want to sing
yeah, again…

And then I find some peace of mind
in you, you made me happy and you made me smile
and didnt seem to mind that I was getting high
it seems good things are meant to last only a while
it seems to me, again…

Forget

A shoulder here for a gentle cry
to tame the heart of anything that reminds you of that time
and age is poised to pass you by
an age of painful memories that make the tears well in your eyes.

Your troubles get to wear too thin
must brave a step through struggling
face teh whip and sadistic grin
of feelings rubbed raw deep within…

Forget…

Memory trap

Follow me down this path
it ain’t so long and it’s just a laugh
for you and me
watch your step, mind your way
overgrown echos of nature in this place
oooh!

This is just fo you and me
this is just a memory

I made you smile, I’m glad you came
sitting here, hand in hand – what a beautiful day!
we’ll carve our names in a tree
leave our mark for all eternity
for all to see…

This is just for you and me
and maybe also the tree
but in all reality
this is just a memory…
Oh…
It’s just a memory…

Farewell

I cannot remember if it’s ever better
how can I forget her? it just stays forever
thinking of you
I’ve even tried to move on but it just feels so wrong
gotta write you one song – do what it takes to move on
up and away from you

because i love you.

I try to hide my feelings from those human beings
they don’t like my reasons, especially not these ones
oh no!
I’ve gotta go away now, gotta put the phone down
thinking brings me right down, I only need to hear the sound of your voice
Just you…

because I love you…

Before the Afterthought

Reach me….
take a look through me and tell me what do you see?

Reach you….
seeing what you want me to see through
because that is you…

Nothing

It’s been a long time since I felt something
it’s not your fault, no, and it never was, not you
I blame myself for all those things I cannot do
these things that cripple me and you
it’s been a long time since I, since I, since I felt something…

Again

I try to find my way again
but I have to be my own friend
I can’t even understand
why I don’t know who I am
Again…

Fin?

This is just a sketch of an idea which will eventually be a massive sounding song. I want to make it longer if i re-record it, and make it build and build, re-arranging the theme which I’ve written here. As with my last couple of tracks, this is written in open C tuning, which I’m finding real fun to play with. I like how this one is going.

Older Versions

[See post to listen to audio]

Version 1 – Guitars and Percussion only.

Version 2 – Added Keyboards and Vocals

Version 3 – Added Lead Guitar

This not a serious track, I just wanted to mess around with drummer from hell, to see how it works. This song was recorded in open C tuning. I don’t care if you think it’s shit, because I already know it is. I just cant mix distorted guitars, at all!

Here is a new track I been working on recently, Its still in its embryonic stage. It was written and recorded on acoustic guitar in open C tuning (thanks Devin Townsend for the inspiration!). I got nothing to say about the lyrics, they say it all…

Older versions

[See post to listen to audio]

Version 1 – Guitars and Vocals only.

Version 2 – Added Keyboards and extra Guitars.

Version 3 – Added some Percussion.

A randomly made track. It doesn’t mean anything, and lacked any inspiration other than the need to record something and pass the time. I like it though. The vocals are just silly.

[See post to listen to audio]

This is a very rough sketch of an acoustic version of Megadeth’s song Addicted To Chaos. I like it though. It’s a shame that I didnt spend more time on this making it sound good. Ah well… Enjoy!

[See post to listen to audio]

This was by far my favourate song on the classic “War of the Worlds” album by Jeff Wayne. This cover is in homage, however is no where near as good as the original! Infact, I kinda cheated when making this cover, I recorded the guitars once for the first verse and chorus, and then copied them for the rest of the song. This song was played with a cappo on the 5th fret. I should’ve tried a little bit harder making this cover! Ah well… Next time maybe!

[See post to listen to audio]

I fell in love with this track when I first heard it on the game “Fallout 3″ (An awesome game, by the way!) and immediatly wanted to learn how to play it on the guitar. Of course, the song originally was not played on the guitar, but it didn’t matter much to me. When I recorded this, it was much slower and without any effects, but technology today allows me to manipulate this, so the track was sped up (without changing the pitch) and made slightly more rocky. I like it, but I still prefer the original version more! This version took me 10 minutes to make. It was done just for fun.

[See post to listen to audio]

I don’t really know what to say about  this track. I didnt really have anything in mind when I made it, I just had this idea on the guitar which i really liked which was kicking around in my brain for a while. I was over in Austria, in Innsbruck at my girlfriend’s flat when I recorded the original version which is below this post (The noise you hear right at the very beginning of the recording is the sound of my girlfriend putting some pans in the cupboard). When I had finished recording it, I knew I liked it, but it wasnt complete enough. So when I got back to the UK, I started recording a new version (which is at the top of this post). Its slower, has a different feeling, and also different parts in it. I must admit, the vocals were made up on the spot (thats how the track got its name) as I dont find it easy to write lyrics. One day, ill write more lyrics for it, and change the song a bit more.  For now, its an embryonic idea, waiting for the day when it blooms into something great.

Silence (Original Version)

[See post to listen to audio]